Cracker Jack Christmas
Christmas 1965 …maybe ’66 … The year of the great Cracker Jack Christmas Caper! (Things are not always as they seem)
Last night I went to see ‘A Christmas Story’ at The Springer Opera House. While I’ve watched the movie many times, I’ve never seen the stage version. It was excellent! There is a lot of talent in Columbus thanks to the folks and programs at The Springer … but I digress …
I can identify with Ralphie as a kid, ... There’s always that point where we realize that the world, in particular media, with its showmanship and use as an advertising and imaging medium is full of exaggeration, untruths, … and well … lies. It happened to Ralphie when he finally got his “Little Orphan Annie Secret Circle Decoder Ring” that would give him the cool password to the secrets of the world… The secret circle code was … “Be sure to drink your Ovaltine” … … Poor kid …
With me, … It was Cracker Jacks … What could be better than “molasses-flavored, caramel-coated popcorn and peanuts”? And it came with a TOY! The TV commercials were great … they consisted of a funny man, with kids singing, eating Cracker Jacks, and having their dreams come true! And they got a FREE TOY! … I was sold! … For weeks, whenever anyone asked me what I wanted for Christmas, I told them, with great fervor and anticipation … CRACKER JACKS!
I should point out that I had never had Cracker Jacks before, but I had friends that had, mostly because they would have a little toy soldier, or a decoder ring that came in a Cracker Jack box! And what could be better than “molasses-flavored, caramel-coated popcorn and peanuts” … and they came with a TOY!
I remember that it was one long December. When you’re under 12 years old, December is the looong-est month, even longer than May, … (the last month of the school year)
Well, at last, Christmas day arrived. As usual, my brother woke me up way before the sun had even thought about appearing in the morning sky. We weren’t allowed to go into the den, (That’s where the tree and presents were) until our parents were awake, Dad started a fire, and Mom turned on Christmas Music. I was afraid Mom and Dad would live up to the threats of sending our TOYS back to Santa if we didn’t obey the rules at Christmas!
The Stage was finally set, … lights, … music, … we entered a Christmas wonderland full of presents, and STUFF! A quick scan around the room revealed, … No Cracker Jacks! I surmised that the Cracker Jacks were neatly wrapped in one of these lovely presents … I was soon submerged in a pile of Christmas wrapping paper and TOYS! … Still no Cracker Jacks … ☹ …
But, … I had seen enough Christmas movies to know that Santa always saved the best for last … I looked towards the fireplace at our Stockings, … hung with care, … lovingly made by my Grandmother for each of her Grandkids, … they were all filled with … something, … and mine was just the right size for … a box of Cracker Jacks! I jumped up, waded across the sea of unwrapped Christmas wrapping, grabbed my stocking and pulled out, … a Box of Cracker Jacks!
My first instinct was to rip open the box, and instantly ingest morsels of “molasses-flavored, caramel-coated popcorn and peanuts”, that were hiding a super, plastic, fighting soldier, or maybe a decoder ring! …
But No … I knew this moment had to be savored and appreciated. I studied that box, I read every word on it, “Prize Inside”… “The Original Cracker Jack” … “molasses-flavored, caramel-coated popcorn and peanuts” … The picture of the kid in a sailor’s suit, … (I already had a sailor’s hat, … I wore it often…)
I slowly and carefully opened the top of the box, … poured some of the lovely caramel coated popcorn and peanuts in my hand and put them in my mouth. … Hmmmm ….
Something was wrong, … The luxurious sugary treat I expected wasn’t there? … It really didn’t taste very good, … I must have gotten a bad peanut or something, I spit them out, put some more into my hand, … and then to my mouth, … … … YUK! This may have been the worst candy I had ever had! I gave it one more try … … Double YUK! My eyes began to water, it became hard to breath, … how could this be?
Wait! … I at least still had the prize inside. I dumped the box out and found my Free Toy! … It was a baseball card! … Well, … not really a baseball card, it was smaller than a real one, it had the sailor guy on it, … It said “Take me out to the ball game” on it. Exciting, Huh?...
That was all I could take, I burst into tears, … my family was dumbfounded, … as was I … Mom gave me a hug, some awesome sugar cookies, a glass of milk, and pointed out all the real toys and treasures I was fortunate to have, … and she was right!
I learned a lot that Christmas, and sadly, grew up a bit. Looking back on it, I enjoyed visiting with my cousins, Aunts, Uncles, Grandma, and “Gramps”. I now know that it’s not about the presents, … It’s the PEOPLE. … I don’t think I’ve ever really had a bad Christmas, … I’ve been blessed with Love and Family all of my life …
“Maybe Christmas doesn’t come from a store. Maybe Christmas … Perhaps … means a little bit more” The Grinch
“I will start anew, I will make amends, And I will make quite certain that the story ends
On a note of hope, On a strong amen, And I'll thank the world, And remember when …
I was able to begin again!” -‘Scrooge’ 1970
Did I tell you about the time the dogs ate the turkey, and we had to eat at a Chinese restaurant, and the waiters and cooks sang Christmas Carols? … Fa Ra Ra Ra Ra, … Ra Ra Ra Ra! …. From Ralphie, The Grinch, Scrooge, Tiny Tim, Mr. Potter, George Bailey, and Me, … Merry Christmas Ya’ll !